Friday, May 27, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
A Tribute to My Mothers
I have two mothers. My mother Joan bore me and raised me and my siblings, until I was 12 years old, when she succumbed to a brain tumor. That was in 1972, and a few years later my father, who was left with 7 children ranging in age from 4 or 5 to 17, remarried. So I have two mothers, both of whom have shaped me in ways that the other could not, and my life is richer for it. Of course, I have the benefit of looking back through the rear view mirror as a 50 year old, where things look vastly different than say, at 18. When I knew everything. And hated a lot of things. Which caused me to do many stupid things. But I digress.
What I wanted to share was the idea of doing a Tribute to our parents, and Mother's Day being tomorrow, I thought I'd post it here, although it can be done for any occasion, or none at all. In any event, the idea came to me from a dear friend who had heard about it on a Christian radio program several years ago, where it was promoted as a way to biblically honor our parents and provide them with a lasting gift - words of remembrance and encouragement for all that they had meant to us. This friend, who knows that I am NOT a touchy-feely person (probably because of, not in spite of, the fact that I cry at Hallmark commercials), asked me to take this on with her as a church-wide project, the first for Mother's Day and another for Father's Day. We would promote this as a way for members to honor their parents (whether by blood, adoption, or for someone who has been 'like a mother/father' to them), and we would offer assistance where needed. This would mean that we would likely be asked to help folks who didn't know where to begin on such a project, or who perhaps had strained relations with their parents. Or maybe they had parents who were no longer living (for which this could be more of a healing exercise for the giver). In any event, since (and only since) she was a good friend I said yes. Little did I know the blessings that would flow from this project, for both givers and recipients, and even entire families...
The fact that we would be helping others meant of course, that I would need to do a Tribute myself. Both of mine were emotionally challenging, to say the least. Thinking about my mother who died so tragically when I was so young would dredge up many thoughts that I had kept buried for years. And the tribute I embarked on for my stepmother was worse - THIS I would need to PRESENT! How do you present a tribute to someone you treated poorly from the time she arrived in your home until you moved out a several years later? Someone you resented for having usurped the role of mother from a woman you barely knew? These were the thoughts that swirled around my own mind as I 'anticipated' the task ahead. So while many of our members (including my friend) got immensely creative with pictures and other memorabilia which they placed in elaborate frames for presentation to their own mothers, along with childhood memories, remembrances of family holidays, special occasions, etc., I spent a long time staring, as it were, at a blank, and later cross hatched, piece of paper. But once I got started, things just flowed. Emotions and memories are like that, once we open the gate that has been closed so long it's hinges have rusted through...
I have copied below the simple tributes I wrote, even thought they are pretty personal and not very polished. I just feel like they may be able to encourage someone else to fashion their own tribute, no matter what the situation. It could be a wonderful gift that will never be forgotten; it could become a vessel for healing; it could even be a turning point in a relationship that has needed one for a long time. I believe it will bless someone, whether that is a son, a daughter, a mother or a father, a friend or sister or brother. My examples will just give you an idea to help you get started. Here is the website from the creator of this idea with lots more information: http://www.familylife.com/site/apps/nl/content3.asp?c=dnJHKLNnFoG&b=3584679&ct=4639567
They don't look very pretty as I've retyped them here, but scanning made them too small and I don't know how to do fonts in blogger. So just picture these with titles and accents in lovely flowery fonts, on parchment paper...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Tribute to My Mother - Joan Matthews Fallon
by Patricia Fallon Cady
My mother came from a large family, and wasted no time assembling one of her own when she married my dad, producing 7 children in 10 years. I remember hearing comments from neighborhood kids about our family size, but I always considered they were the odd ones, sometimes with only 2 kids! I remember thinking - who did they play with anyway?
We didn’t think we had much back then, but of course we were wrong...
Birthdays at our house meant that you had the option of a party with your friends OR going out to a ‘real’ restaurant - the kind with cloth napkins - with just mom and dad. This was an indulgence of epic proportions, and I don’t remember ever choosing the party... When my dad installed an above-ground pool, I remember watching my mom as she painted each of our names in huge script letters, along with a particular flower, all around the steel siding. Too young to be embarrassed by this blatant (not to mention tacky!) display of maternal affection, I absolutely loved it, and have fond memories of playing in the pool with siblings and cousins. My mother’s friends called her a ‘hoot’ and I remember that wherever she was, the sound of laughter was never far away. Her sense of humor was probably essential in the care and feeding of her boisterous brood. I look back in wonder at how she always managed to have every one of us dressed and ready for church on Sundays, and how we all sat together, usually assembled in a specific order, according to my parents’ weekly discernment of “whom must not sit next to whom”. My mom enjoyed cooking and baking, and to this day I can still be transported back in time, if only for a moment, when I smell sugar cookies baking. Mom was also a gifted painter, and managed to churn out an amazing number of canvases while caring for us and taking on an assortment of volunteer activities at our school and church. Writing this makes her sound like “Wonder Woman”; I guess she was...
Mom went home on September 8, 1972, after a battle with brain cancer that was waged in the hospital and surrendered in our family room. She was 39 years old, and I was just shy of 12. For many years I lamented that my mom died before I was able to really know her, but I now realize that I was wrong. Today I look back from the vantage point that includes my own experiences with marriage and motherhood, and I can begin to appreciate the tapestry God has woven through my mother’s life, and that He is weaving through me still... I knew my mother well enough to learn some valuable lessons:
From my mother
I learned that what we truly treasure is never made with human hands.
I learned that by giving you are filled and fulfilled.
I learned that laughter is not only good medicine, but an inheritable trait.
I learned that creativity nourishes the soul and refreshes the mind.
I learned that bringing up children is sometimes messy and usually humbling.
I learned that there are no perfect mothers, but there are mothers who are perfect for us.
Thank you Mom, for the love that you gave me, the lessons that you taught me, and the legacy that you left me...
Can’t wait to see you when I get home!
Love, Patricia
(2007)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Tribute to My Mother - Alice Marie Fallon
by patricia fallon cady
Dear Mom,
When we first met, I was 15 years old and full of myself. Despite my own issues, I remember thinking you were pretty nice because no one else ever brought us Brown Derby cake! But I must admit that I was dumbfounded as to why you'd want to marry my dad, since he came complete with some undeniably weighty 'baggage'! You had already finished raising your daughter, and were now going to start a new life with a man who had seven children! That most of us were teenagers, five were females, and all were probably still grieving and troubled over the loss of our mother, should have been enough to send you packing, but what a testament to your love that you stayed! Thank you for your willingness to come into our home and for helping to make us a family again. I think Joan would be proud of you - I know that she would have admired your fortitude!
Thank you Mom, for showing me that being a mother is not always about bearing children, but it can be about bearing with our children and their burdens, as together we negotiate the unexpected twists and turns of life. I thank God for the the divine appointment He made more than 30 years ago when He put you and Daddy together. The love and commitment you have shown in your marriage has been both and example and a blessing, not only to your children but to your many grandchildren. That is a legacy worthy of celebration and honor.
Mom, your caring attitude, persistence and patience allowed you to transcend the difficulties you encountered as you came into our lives and helped to mold us. You stuck with us through difficult times, when a lesser woman might have thrown in the towel. I didn't realize until later in my life, the enormity of the job you undertook, and regret the hard time I gave you growing up.
So please forgive me Mom, not just for being a self-absorbed teenager when you married Dad, but for my unwillingness to extend to you the honor I should have reserved for such a courageous woman. You took on and met and enormous challenge with uncommon grace and strength. I am so thankful to have this opportunity to honor you on this Mother's Day for all you have meant to me!
May the Lord Bless You and Keep You
may the Lord Make His Face to Shine Upon You and Be Gracious Unto You
May the Lord Lift Up His Countenance Upon You and Give You Peace
Much Love,
Patricia
13 May 2007
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL! You have the hardest and best job there is!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I wanted to share was the idea of doing a Tribute to our parents, and Mother's Day being tomorrow, I thought I'd post it here, although it can be done for any occasion, or none at all. In any event, the idea came to me from a dear friend who had heard about it on a Christian radio program several years ago, where it was promoted as a way to biblically honor our parents and provide them with a lasting gift - words of remembrance and encouragement for all that they had meant to us. This friend, who knows that I am NOT a touchy-feely person (probably because of, not in spite of, the fact that I cry at Hallmark commercials), asked me to take this on with her as a church-wide project, the first for Mother's Day and another for Father's Day. We would promote this as a way for members to honor their parents (whether by blood, adoption, or for someone who has been 'like a mother/father' to them), and we would offer assistance where needed. This would mean that we would likely be asked to help folks who didn't know where to begin on such a project, or who perhaps had strained relations with their parents. Or maybe they had parents who were no longer living (for which this could be more of a healing exercise for the giver). In any event, since (and only since) she was a good friend I said yes. Little did I know the blessings that would flow from this project, for both givers and recipients, and even entire families...
The fact that we would be helping others meant of course, that I would need to do a Tribute myself. Both of mine were emotionally challenging, to say the least. Thinking about my mother who died so tragically when I was so young would dredge up many thoughts that I had kept buried for years. And the tribute I embarked on for my stepmother was worse - THIS I would need to PRESENT! How do you present a tribute to someone you treated poorly from the time she arrived in your home until you moved out a several years later? Someone you resented for having usurped the role of mother from a woman you barely knew? These were the thoughts that swirled around my own mind as I 'anticipated' the task ahead. So while many of our members (including my friend) got immensely creative with pictures and other memorabilia which they placed in elaborate frames for presentation to their own mothers, along with childhood memories, remembrances of family holidays, special occasions, etc., I spent a long time staring, as it were, at a blank, and later cross hatched, piece of paper. But once I got started, things just flowed. Emotions and memories are like that, once we open the gate that has been closed so long it's hinges have rusted through...
I have copied below the simple tributes I wrote, even thought they are pretty personal and not very polished. I just feel like they may be able to encourage someone else to fashion their own tribute, no matter what the situation. It could be a wonderful gift that will never be forgotten; it could become a vessel for healing; it could even be a turning point in a relationship that has needed one for a long time. I believe it will bless someone, whether that is a son, a daughter, a mother or a father, a friend or sister or brother. My examples will just give you an idea to help you get started. Here is the website from the creator of this idea with lots more information: http://www.familylife.com/site/apps/nl/content3.asp?c=dnJHKLNnFoG&b=3584679&ct=4639567
They don't look very pretty as I've retyped them here, but scanning made them too small and I don't know how to do fonts in blogger. So just picture these with titles and accents in lovely flowery fonts, on parchment paper...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Tribute to My Mother - Joan Matthews Fallon
by Patricia Fallon Cady
My mother came from a large family, and wasted no time assembling one of her own when she married my dad, producing 7 children in 10 years. I remember hearing comments from neighborhood kids about our family size, but I always considered they were the odd ones, sometimes with only 2 kids! I remember thinking - who did they play with anyway?
We didn’t think we had much back then, but of course we were wrong...
Birthdays at our house meant that you had the option of a party with your friends OR going out to a ‘real’ restaurant - the kind with cloth napkins - with just mom and dad. This was an indulgence of epic proportions, and I don’t remember ever choosing the party... When my dad installed an above-ground pool, I remember watching my mom as she painted each of our names in huge script letters, along with a particular flower, all around the steel siding. Too young to be embarrassed by this blatant (not to mention tacky!) display of maternal affection, I absolutely loved it, and have fond memories of playing in the pool with siblings and cousins. My mother’s friends called her a ‘hoot’ and I remember that wherever she was, the sound of laughter was never far away. Her sense of humor was probably essential in the care and feeding of her boisterous brood. I look back in wonder at how she always managed to have every one of us dressed and ready for church on Sundays, and how we all sat together, usually assembled in a specific order, according to my parents’ weekly discernment of “whom must not sit next to whom”. My mom enjoyed cooking and baking, and to this day I can still be transported back in time, if only for a moment, when I smell sugar cookies baking. Mom was also a gifted painter, and managed to churn out an amazing number of canvases while caring for us and taking on an assortment of volunteer activities at our school and church. Writing this makes her sound like “Wonder Woman”; I guess she was...
Mom went home on September 8, 1972, after a battle with brain cancer that was waged in the hospital and surrendered in our family room. She was 39 years old, and I was just shy of 12. For many years I lamented that my mom died before I was able to really know her, but I now realize that I was wrong. Today I look back from the vantage point that includes my own experiences with marriage and motherhood, and I can begin to appreciate the tapestry God has woven through my mother’s life, and that He is weaving through me still... I knew my mother well enough to learn some valuable lessons:
From my mother
I learned that what we truly treasure is never made with human hands.
I learned that by giving you are filled and fulfilled.
I learned that laughter is not only good medicine, but an inheritable trait.
I learned that creativity nourishes the soul and refreshes the mind.
I learned that bringing up children is sometimes messy and usually humbling.
I learned that there are no perfect mothers, but there are mothers who are perfect for us.
Thank you Mom, for the love that you gave me, the lessons that you taught me, and the legacy that you left me...
Can’t wait to see you when I get home!
Love, Patricia
(2007)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Tribute to My Mother - Alice Marie Fallon
by patricia fallon cady
Dear Mom,
When we first met, I was 15 years old and full of myself. Despite my own issues, I remember thinking you were pretty nice because no one else ever brought us Brown Derby cake! But I must admit that I was dumbfounded as to why you'd want to marry my dad, since he came complete with some undeniably weighty 'baggage'! You had already finished raising your daughter, and were now going to start a new life with a man who had seven children! That most of us were teenagers, five were females, and all were probably still grieving and troubled over the loss of our mother, should have been enough to send you packing, but what a testament to your love that you stayed! Thank you for your willingness to come into our home and for helping to make us a family again. I think Joan would be proud of you - I know that she would have admired your fortitude!
Thank you Mom, for showing me that being a mother is not always about bearing children, but it can be about bearing with our children and their burdens, as together we negotiate the unexpected twists and turns of life. I thank God for the the divine appointment He made more than 30 years ago when He put you and Daddy together. The love and commitment you have shown in your marriage has been both and example and a blessing, not only to your children but to your many grandchildren. That is a legacy worthy of celebration and honor.
Mom, your caring attitude, persistence and patience allowed you to transcend the difficulties you encountered as you came into our lives and helped to mold us. You stuck with us through difficult times, when a lesser woman might have thrown in the towel. I didn't realize until later in my life, the enormity of the job you undertook, and regret the hard time I gave you growing up.
So please forgive me Mom, not just for being a self-absorbed teenager when you married Dad, but for my unwillingness to extend to you the honor I should have reserved for such a courageous woman. You took on and met and enormous challenge with uncommon grace and strength. I am so thankful to have this opportunity to honor you on this Mother's Day for all you have meant to me!
May the Lord Bless You and Keep You
may the Lord Make His Face to Shine Upon You and Be Gracious Unto You
May the Lord Lift Up His Countenance Upon You and Give You Peace
Much Love,
Patricia
13 May 2007
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL! You have the hardest and best job there is!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
A Buried Grief
A searing indictment of the conventional wisdom that assures us that women do not suffer emotional or psychological trauma as a direct result of having undergone an abortion. I have no doubt that if 20 women read this article, more than half of them could directly relate to the feelings described by the subjects of the counseling session described, all of whom were in treatment for issues seemingly unrelated to their past abortions.
It's time we stopped pretending that the only victims of abortion are buried away as sad remembrances of the 'difficult choices' one makes in life. On the contrary, the living victims remain with us in ever greater numbers, men and women whose wounds are manifested in broken families, broken lives, substance abuse, eating disorders and a myriad of other ways that describe what happens when people need to numb a pain that simply will not subside on its own. Fortunately, help is available for those walking wounded who want it. There is a Balm in Gilead.
It's time we stopped pretending that the only victims of abortion are buried away as sad remembrances of the 'difficult choices' one makes in life. On the contrary, the living victims remain with us in ever greater numbers, men and women whose wounds are manifested in broken families, broken lives, substance abuse, eating disorders and a myriad of other ways that describe what happens when people need to numb a pain that simply will not subside on its own. Fortunately, help is available for those walking wounded who want it. There is a Balm in Gilead.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Tornado Alley Needs Some Heroes...
Since I wasn't able to find a clearinghouse of relief organizations for the recent devastation in the south, I thought I would just do a little research and publish what I found so that people have a place to go where they can then choose among the many different opportunities to help. The following organizations are either well-known first responders capable of meeting immediate needs, relief organizations used to handling the clean-up, housing and other needs in the aftermath of a disaster, or local churches and other organizations whose long-term ties to the community put them in the best position to meet the particular needs to which they are suited. Please consider the possible ways in which you might personally get involved in helping out others who have been hit so hard in recent weeks, whether that help is extended by the donation of money, goods, or even yourself/your family to help out in the clean-up efforts. The need is great.
WORLD VISION: http://www.worldvision.org/#/home/main/tornadoes-american-south-1-1389
SAMARITAN'S PURSE: http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/articles/responding_to_deadly_tornadoes/
RED CROSS: https://american.redcross.org/site/Donation2?4882.donation=form1&idb=1495181504&df_id=4882&gclid=CPHJ4MXVyagCFch-5QodClVQpg
A TENNESSEE Red Cross chapter is seeking volunteer workers: http://www.wbir.com/news/article/168258/2/Red-Cross-looking-for-volunteers-to-help-TN-tornado--flood-victims
Here's an ALABAMA news piece which lists some other organizations and needs for both goods and volunteers locally. http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2011/04/alabama_tornadoes_how_you_can.html
Ditto for MISSISSIPPI: http://www.wtva.com/content/alertbarblank/story/How-you-can-help-the-tornado-victims/AKYnBc1bnEe1W4x6Ce8dXw.cspx
When I see the pictures of the devastation I must admit I have a hard time relating. To walk outside your house and not be able to see the familiar landmarks that have stood like sentinals to mark out the boundaries of your home, your neighborhood, your entire town, seems far more believable as a Twilight Zone episode than the reality of life as experienced by thousands in the southern states. And that's without considering the deeper devastation of the lives lost. Today's ability to view disasters in real-time technicolor detail can even overwhelm our very willingness to help, if only because the depth of need appears so great compared to our abilities to provide whatever help we can. But that simply isn't true. Every donation makes a difference.
I am only one, but I am one.
I cannot do everything,
but I can do something.
And I will not let what I cannot do
interfere with what I can do.
~Edward Everett Hale
THANKS for considering helping!
WORLD VISION: http://www.worldvision.org/#/home/main/tornadoes-american-south-1-1389
SAMARITAN'S PURSE: http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/articles/responding_to_deadly_tornadoes/
RED CROSS: https://american.redcross.org/site/Donation2?4882.donation=form1&idb=1495181504&df_id=4882&gclid=CPHJ4MXVyagCFch-5QodClVQpg
A TENNESSEE Red Cross chapter is seeking volunteer workers: http://www.wbir.com/news/article/168258/2/Red-Cross-looking-for-volunteers-to-help-TN-tornado--flood-victims
Here's an ALABAMA news piece which lists some other organizations and needs for both goods and volunteers locally. http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2011/04/alabama_tornadoes_how_you_can.html
Ditto for MISSISSIPPI: http://www.wtva.com/content/alertbarblank/story/How-you-can-help-the-tornado-victims/AKYnBc1bnEe1W4x6Ce8dXw.cspx
When I see the pictures of the devastation I must admit I have a hard time relating. To walk outside your house and not be able to see the familiar landmarks that have stood like sentinals to mark out the boundaries of your home, your neighborhood, your entire town, seems far more believable as a Twilight Zone episode than the reality of life as experienced by thousands in the southern states. And that's without considering the deeper devastation of the lives lost. Today's ability to view disasters in real-time technicolor detail can even overwhelm our very willingness to help, if only because the depth of need appears so great compared to our abilities to provide whatever help we can. But that simply isn't true. Every donation makes a difference.
I am only one, but I am one.
I cannot do everything,
but I can do something.
And I will not let what I cannot do
interfere with what I can do.
~Edward Everett Hale
THANKS for considering helping!
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